Hypocrite: Christian Man Says Yoga Pants Are Sinful But Now His Wife Is Wearing Them And AWOOOGA ALL ABOARD MATEY

SARASOTA, FL — Local man Brad Snyder has long maintained that yoga pants are too revealing and thus sinful, but today his wife tried a pair on and, well, something changed inside Mr. Snyder.

“AWOOOOOGA!!” exclaimed Mr. Snyder, watching his wife walk across the living room. “ALL ABOOOOOARD!”

According to sources, Mr. Snyder had for years decried the wearing of yoga pants in public as a total abomination. “Brad would always shake his head in silent judgment,” said friend Jonathan Williams. “Then he would say, ‘Ugh, aren’t you supposed to leave something to the imagination, ladies?’. Then today, I get a text from him saying he’s trading his car in for a moped so he can buy his wife more yoga pants. I don’t know what changed!”

Though a bit unsure how Brad would respond, Mrs. Snyder decided to try a pair of yoga pants on at home to see what happened. “I thought he might change his tune,” said Mrs. Snyder. “It’s been an hour now and he still hasn’t made a complete sentence in English. He’s like a happy cave man. I think I’ll keep them.”

At publishing time, Mr. Snyder had reportedly decided to write a book on marriage entitled Buy Your Wife Yoga Pants, The End.

Is your wife being hysterical again? Do you need a sandwich ASAP, but the Mrs. is unreasonably upset? Watch this video for all the best techniques for calming her down.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction
Babylon Bee

Jesus Christ is King