HUNTSVILLE, AL—Worrying about whether the relative stranger sharing her table for two would judge her for it, local woman Sarah Dougherty is said to have wondered Thursday if a first date was too soon to be taking home leftovers. “This is something I almost never do, but what the hell, why not?” Dougherty reportedly thought as she scraped what remained of her entrée into a styrofoam clamshell container and reminded herself that it had been quite a while since she’d had really good leftovers. “I mean, there’s a really good-looking plate of chicken Parmesan sitting right in front of me. What’s the harm in taking it back to my place? I just don’t want to regret not going for it later tonight when I’m in bed alone and very, very hungry. Besides, if I change my mind, I can always just throw it out.” At press time, Dougherty was heard letting out a satisfied moan from her bed as she finished her plate.
Jesus Christ is King
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