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Michelle Obama: ‘I Am Terrified What Could Happen In 2024 If Pennywise The Clown Comes Back’

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LOS ANGELES—In an exclusive interview with podcast host Jay Shetty, former first lady Michelle Obama stated Monday that she was “terrified” what could happen in 2024 if Pennywise the Clown came back. “We cannot and we must not take the Ritual of Chüd for granted,” said Obama, who responded to Shetty’s question regarding her biggest fears by warning that the shape-shifting monster was lurking somewhere in the nation’s sewer system as they spoke. “This isn’t just a local problem in Derry, Maine. This is a threat to our entire country and our entire democracy. Any day now, a red balloon is going to appear over the White House, and then what?” At press time, Michelle Obama had reportedly woken up in a cold sweat after having a terrible nightmare in which Pennywise took the form of an obese child.

The Onion

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