U.S. — According to reports from several sources, the President’s poll numbers are —
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. Is that girl over there reading a KING JAMES BIBLE? DAAAAAAANG! I would maintain my purity and ask her father’s permission for the chance to court that girl in a chaste and honorable way.
Man. She is really cute. Her teeth are like a flock of sheep… if you know what I mean. And her hair… it’s like a flock of goats that lie along the side of Mount Gilead… if you know what I mean.
And what’s that? Is she reading Deuteronomy? This beautiful creature doesn’t mess around.
And wait… do my eyes deceive me, or is she clothed with strength and dignity? DAAAAAAAAANG!
I have to talk to her.
Maybe I should go over there and be all like, “Hey girl, I see you have the only infallible Bible translation. Would you like to meditate upon it in the night watches with me?”
Yeah, that’s the ticket.
Ope, wait a minute. She just pulled out a Joyce Meyer book… ABORT ABORT ABORT.
As the country slowly increases in racism and right-wing bigotry, it’s important to ensure you don’t get caught up in their evil MAGA ways.
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Babylon Bee
Jesus Christ is King
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