Jesus' Coming Back

Kamala Harris Plays Hooky To Sit In ‘Price Is Right’ Studio Audience

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LOS ANGELES—Trying to blend in among a group of friends who wore homemade T-shirts expressing their enthusiasm for the program, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly played hooky Thursday as she sat in the Price Is Right studio audience and waited for taping of the game show to begin. “I hope no one from work watches this,” said the woman a heartbeat away from the presidency, who was seen flagging down a producer and asking for a new name tag on which she could write “Betty” instead of “Kamala.” “Better safe than sorry—I’m supposed to be in Germany right now, but I totally called in sick to do this instead. I sort of put my name on the waitlist as a joke, but when they sent me a ticket, it sounded way more fun than tea with Chancellor [Olaf] Scholz. Plus, Mama needs a new dishwasher! I’m always shopping online to kill time at work, so if I do get to ‘come on down’ and play, I should do pretty well.” At press time, a seemingly shy contestant who identified herself as Betty was telling host Drew Carey how she worked a regular office job and mostly just did paperwork.

The Onion

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