LONDON — British police continued to uphold law and order in the United Kingdom by arresting a praying mantis for disturbing the peace with public prayer.
According to eyewitnesses, the dangerous domestic extremist was apprehended right outside of Parliament, where the insect had the audacity to fold its forelegs together in silent prayer.
“Britain is safe once again,” said constable Tom Smith as he affixed tiny handcuffs onto the mantis. “Soon as I seen him, I knew he was praying — knew it with my mind powers. Not on our watch, you little blighter.”
Fellow constable Roger McMillan celebrated the arrest over a pint at a nearby pub. “I say, deuced good job we bagged him,” said McMillan. “I never seen such impudance in my days, luvaduck. We done our best by ‘Is Nibs and clapped ‘im in the klink first thing. That’ll teach the little bugge — excuse me, the little bug!”
The praying mantis was unavailable for comment, as it was being held in solitary confinement in the Tower of London until a judge would hear its sentencing and probably sentence it to having its head chopped off.
At publishing time, the mantis had been released and recompensed for its time and trouble after it had simply explained that it was actually a Muslim mantis who was in the process of unrolling its prayer rug when the bobbies had come to arrest it.
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Babylon Bee
Jesus Christ is King
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