FORT WAYNE, IN — Local man Everett Johnson recently discovered an incredible Christian hack when he closed his morning prayer by asking for “infinity more” prayers.
According to sources close to the scene, Johnson was at his daily prayers when the thought occurred to him that for his last prayer request of God could be to have infinite more prayer requests.
“It is the ultimate hack,” said Johnson to his pastor. “I literally have infinite prayers, infinite chances to bring petitions to the Creator of the Universe. It’s like printing prayers. Maybe someone did it for the genie in the bottle or whatever already, but this is – dare I say it – infinitely more awesome and powerful.”
Johnson’s pastor said nothing, presumably because his mind was totally boggled by the simple brilliance of Everett’s prayer hack.
“Do you think they might make me a Doctor of the Church for this?” Johnson later asked hopefully.
Family and friends of Johnson say that his prayer seems to have been quite effective, as God still seems to be hearing his prayers, even though he’s launched thousands and thousands of prayers heavenward over the past three days.
At publishing time, Johnson had decided to try to use each of his infinity prayers to ask God for “infinity infinity” prayers.
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