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Doctor turns to ChatGPT for novel ways to say ‘it’s all in your head’ to female patients
Halifax, NS – Looking to take advantage of AI in his practice, Dr. Allan George turned to ChatGPT for novel ways to tell female patients “It’s all in your head.”
Dr. George, a rheumatologist with over 20 years of experience, has found…
US, Russia commence Ukraine Piece Talks, where Ukraine will be carved into pieces
RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA – Representatives from the United States and Russia met today to commence their “Ukraine Piece Talks” summit, wherein the two autocrat-led nations will discuss which lucrative pieces of Ukraine each will claim as their…
Trump on 51st State: “Canada needs America’s protection from countries like America”
WASHINGTON D.C. – Asked about his earlier comments regarding Canada becoming the 51st state, President Donald Trump clarified that Canada needs America to offer it protection from hostile aggressor nations like America.
Following the Trump…
Man who has spent entire political career attacking everybody promises he’ll attack Trump and Elon…
OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre, who has famously spent his 21-year political career vociferously attacking any person or political entity which opposed him, has vowed to “any day now” begin training that same rhetorical fire on the American…
Ford to execute first prisoner by using Ontario healthcare system
LONDON, ON – After Premier Doug Ford was recorded joking about bringing back the death penalty, he has since confirmed that not only will he follow through with the idea, but he is already planning to execute his first prisoner using good…
Curling ad contains over two seconds of sizzling action
OTTAWA – Television viewers across the country have been wowed by a 30 second curling commercial that contains nearly 2.5 seconds of intense curling action.
“I always thought curling was just an excuse to get plastered,” said 43-year-old…
Canadian hockey fans prepare to call the 4 Nations Face-Off a brilliant idea or some made-up…
MONTREAL – As Team Canada gets set to play its first game in the inaugural 4 Nations Face-Off, fans across the country are ready to either celebrate a generation-defining victory or dismiss a totally meaningless defeat in a Mickey Mouse…
Single treat makes pet happier than owner can ever dream of being
COBOURG, ON ― Local housecat, Firecracker Devries, achieved a soaring pinnacle of sheer hedonistic pleasure today that is in equal measure inaccessible and inconceivable to her owner/servant/tolerated-acquaintance, Lucien Devries, upon…
New US tariffs force Canada to use excess steel, aluminum in construction of 200 ft Mecha-Gosling
OTTAWA – With US President Trump instituting 25% tariffs on all steel and aluminum imports, Canada has elected to use their excess metals in the most sensible way possible – by constructing a 21-storey-tall robotic weapon shaped after…
Poilievre hits play on the ‘don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone’ part of Big Yellow Taxi,…
OTTAWA – Conservative insiders are growing concerned about Pierre Poilievre’s behaviour in recent days, as he is spending hours in his bedroom playing Joni Mitchell’s Big Yellow Taxi while looking at photos of Trudeau.
“Every time a new…
Play Hard. Get Dirty. Use Good Saop.