Beaverton

TORONTO – After announcing they had acquired majority control of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment, the board of Rogers Communications reassured Leafs, Raptors, TFC and Argos fans that soon, their teams will be just as successful as the…

CALGARY – WestJet has finally embraced its reputation as one of Canada’s most reviled airlines with the debut of its new company slogan: “Air Canada, but somehow worse.” The slogan was initially decried as false advertising, as regulators…

MONTREAL – In an effort to secure stronger wages, Air Canada pilots are vowing to make Canadians continue to fly Air Canada unless they are granted significant raises. “With no breakthroughs emerging after a year of negotiations, we have no…

The Liberal Party has fallen a teeny tiny little bit behind the Conservatives in the polls. And with an election possibly imminent Liberals insiders are reportedly telling PM Trudeau that he can’t win. But we say that is pure hogwash. Here…

COPENHAGEN – An international coalition of scientists with expertise in quantum mechanics, wave theory and atomic structure have assembled at the Nils Bohr Institute to tackle the newly-discovered, deeply troubling temporal paradox that…

OTTAWA, ON ― The latest analysis of a local first-year North American History course discussion forum has revealed that every one of the 173 questions posted there was already answered in class. Of these, a slight majority (63%) had been…

OTTAWA — Canada’s Air Transport Security Authority has announced that travellers averse to being scanned by invasive technology will now have the option to be gracefully sketched like one of the beautiful French models the security officers…

Jordan Peterson has unveiled his “anti-woke” University: Peterson Academy. Which is definitely a real university and not just Conservative MasterClass. Being the curious intellectuals we are, we signed up and are here to report back on the…

A newlywed cardiac nurse in Portland, Oregon, was found dead Saturday and her neighbor has been accused of murder in the case. When 32-year-old Melissa Jubane, who worked at St. Vincent Hospital, did not appear for her shift on Wednesday,…

CALGARY – Calgarians are being asked to ration water while crucial pipeline repairs are conducted, reminding the city’s older residents of the great water rationing effort of three months ago. “Youngins won’t remember…