Beaverton

EDMONTON, AB – Local weirdo, Felix Bonner, 36, recently told his co-workers that despite its horrible vomit-like taste, he actually enjoys fruitcakes. “It’s just a nice blend of sweetness and spices,” said the complete abomination of a man,…

SAN FRANCISCO – Twitter announced a surprising change to its Terms of Use today, informing users that replying ‘lol’, ‘lmao’, ‘haha’, and any variant thereof to any account other than that of Twitter’s CEO and owner Elon Musk will result in…

OTTAWA – As Canada’s federal legislators prepare to return home for their six-week winter break, the leader of the Conservative Party was seen running out of the House of Commons chamber to tell people all about his sick new Trump digital…

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In the wake of a near walkout by the US’s railway workers, experts have advised that an industry-wide strike would’ve led to supply chain disruptions of fun but exaggerated stories told by wandering vagabonds and scamps.…

SAN FRANCISCO – Several prominent journalists have found their Twitter accounts permanently suspended under grounds that they spent insufficient time reporting on how Twitter CEO Elon Musk values free speech above all else. On Thursday…

VICTORIA — Proctor Properties Inc has recently appointed George William Sherston-Phipps Tollemache Montesquieu III of Roxborough as its Maintenance Viscount for the Regency Landing apartment building, and his illustrious tenure is beginning…

EDMONTON – After apologizing to First Nations, Ukrainian-Canadians and the vaccinated, Danielle Smith today issued a new apology to anyone who was hurt by the comments she is about to make. “If the comments I am about to say in mere moments…

HAMILTON, ON – The secret to being fully present in your miserable existence? Local life coach, June Funda, says it’s all about prioritizing a good night’s sleep. “It’s hard to focus on how everyone lets me down when I’m groggy,”…

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