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Franchise with amazing fans, likeable superstars determined to become league villains
EDMONTON – The Edmonton Oilers announced the hiring of Stan Bowman, the Blackhawks executive who helped cover up the sexual abuse of Kyle Beach by assistant coach Brad Aldrich, as part of their ongoing plan to become the league’s most hated…
Aides explaining to confused Trudeau how unpopular leader dropped re-election bid
OTTAWA – Aides to Prime Minister Trudeau have reportedly spent several hours attempting to explain how Joe Biden, a similarly left-leaning incumbent with low polling numbers, actually willingly chose to end his re-election campaign.
“So…
Trump campaign desperately hoping Democrats replace Biden with a different frail 81-year-old
WASHINGTON DC – With Joe Biden announcing his plans to drop out of the US presidential race, Donald Trump’s campaign has publicly asked the Democrats to nominate a similarly ineffectual octogenarian who will fit seamlessly into the GOP’s…
UNPRECEDENTED: Aging boomer retires to free up job for someone younger
WASHINGTON DC — In a move that has shocked employees around the world, Joe Biden announced today that he would be stepping out of the presidential race, making it the first time in recorded history that an ageing boomer has ever retired in…
New voluntary code of conduct ensures Canada’s grocers are finally answerable to Canada’s grocers
OTTAWA – All of Canada’s major grocery retailers have agreed to sign on to a voluntary code of conduct that will ensure any retailer who breaks the code will have to answer to themselves.
“I am elated that the grocery industry has finally…
Canadians fail to notice difference as global IT outage disrupts airlines, banks, health care
OTTAWA – As a global tech outage disrupts operations in multiple industries, including airlines, banks, and health care, citizens across Canada have reported assuming that the poor service was merely business as usual.
“My flight was…
Biden assures Democrats COVID diagnosis won’t stop him from losing election
WASHINGTON DC – Following an announcement that he has contracted COVID-19 for a second time, US President Biden has assured worried Democratic lawmakers that this diagnosis will not impede his previous strategy of losing the November…
Federal government announces O Canada will now begin with 15 seconds of unskippable ads
OTTAWA – The federal government has announced that, beginning on January 1, 2025, all renditions of O Canada played anywhere in the country will be required to start with 15 seconds of unskippable advertisements.
“Honestly, it’s not…
Trudeau assures Liberals they just need to ride out this 28 month polling dip
OTTAWA – Facing pressure to step aside, beleaguered Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has encouraged his party’s MPs to hold and see if they can just wait out their current 2 plus years of bad poll numbers.
“In politics there are always going…
All emotional support tabs lost in recent Chrome update
Charlottetown, PEI – Despite promises that all tabs would reopen, a trusting local woman lost all of her emotional support tabs in a recent Chrome update.
Michelle Greene has had at least 83 tabs open for the last few years. She typically…
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