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Beaverton
Seasonal temperature shifts create pleasing sounds from house built entirely out of accordions
CHARLOTTETOWN — While many Prince Edward Islanders mark the arrival of Fall by noticing the changing colours of the leaves, Daryl McClintock listens for the soothing sonic effects of temperature fluctuations on his house constructed solely…
Fiddler can’t afford roof
ST. JOHN’S, NL – The Canadian housing crisis reached new heights this week with a renowned fiddler unable to afford a roof.
Viola Green, 35, a prolific fiddle player who has toured with major Canadian acts such as Great Big Ocean, Red…
Handy changes for the new year: Boxing and Fisting to trade names
SAN JUAN, PR – The World Boxing Organization (WBO) and the International Fisting Association (IFA) have agreed to an exchange of names for their respective activities as of Jan 1, 2025. Starting at midnight in the new year, Boxing will be…
Hawk poo-ah! 5 dangerous bones to find in your pet bird’s regurgitated pellets
Bird owners, beware! Ornithologists have identified 5 new bones that, if found in a bird of prey’s regurgitated pellets, could call for an urgent trip to the Bird E.R. Watch out for your bird chokin’ on these 5 thangs:
1. HUMAN SKULL
Eating…
Pizza Pizza gives man diarrhea diarrhea
TORONTO – Local jeweler Jason Jackson has eaten a bad Pizza Pizza pizza, according to cub cuisine columnist Ms. Chris Swiss.
“I work all the time, and then I had to work overtime, so I just wanted to unwind with the pizza I designed,”…
Corrupt Federal Body Inspector busted
OTTAWA – Officials from the Federal Body Inspection agency have announced that Special Agent Bradley Carmichael has been stripped of his rank and discharged after being enmeshed in a corruption scandal.
“Mr. Carmichael is a disgrace to the…
Hawk two-ah! Meet Sam, the peregrine falcon who can count to two
MONCTON – New Brunswick finally has a resident who has mastered the art of counting to two – presumably without using their wings.
When Sam, a two-year-old peregrine falcon, was rescued from the smoldering remains of a presumably-arson’d…
Amazeballs explosion! Trendster adds awesome sauce to cool beans
BRAMALEA, ON — Local trendster Emily Ling established herself as the GOAT when she pushed the envelope by pouring awesome sauce onto cool beans, resulting in an amazeballs explosion of cray cray proportions.
“OMG!” said Ling. “I know I’m…
Leopard feels sexy in human skin-patterned thong
See More: Dumb Week, human skin, leopard, sexy Beaverton
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