Beaverton

OTTAWA – As a global tech outage disrupts operations in multiple industries, including airlines, banks, and health care, citizens across Canada have reported assuming that the poor service was merely business as usual. “My flight was…

WASHINGTON DC – Following an announcement that he has contracted COVID-19 for a second time, US President Biden has assured worried Democratic lawmakers that this diagnosis will not impede his previous strategy of losing the November…

OTTAWA – The federal government has announced that, beginning on January 1, 2025, all renditions of O Canada played anywhere in the country will be required to start with 15 seconds of unskippable advertisements. “Honestly, it’s not…

OTTAWA – Facing pressure to step aside, beleaguered Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has encouraged his party’s MPs to hold and see if they can just wait out their current 2 plus years of bad poll numbers. “In politics there are always going…

Charlottetown, PEI – Despite promises that all tabs would reopen, a trusting local woman lost all of her emotional support tabs in a recent Chrome update. Michelle Greene has had at least 83 tabs open for the last few years. She typically…

WASHINGTON D.C. – In the wake of Joe Biden’s debate performance and Donald Trump surviving an assassination attempt, a report from the University of Toronto political sciences department recommends you start getting ready for 4 years of…

QUEEN’S PARK – In the wake of an LCBO strike, Premier Doug Ford has reportedly been working around the clock to secure Ontarian’s access to hard liquor, as keeping conservative voters “24/7 hammered” is the only way to keep them voting for…

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. – The Canadian men’s national soccer team plays Argentina in the Copa America semi-final tonight, as Canada looks to end its pathetic century-long title drought in South America’s soccer championship. While…

It’s the biggest men’s soccer match in Canadian history tonight, as Canada takes on World Champions Argentina in the semi-finals of the Copa America. And that means thousands, possibly millions, of Canadians who know nothing about our team,…

OTTAWA – High ranking members of Canada’s Liberal Party were shocked and dismayed by the results of the French election, with Trudeau in particular unable to fathom that Macron’s centrist coalition wasn’t able to scare their way into…