Browsing Category
Beaverton
Tampax encourages women to channel their rage into bigger, better periods
LOS ANGELES – With Donald Trump’s second presidential term underway, feminine hygiene brand Tampax has unveiled a bold new marketing strategy encouraging women to harness the sense of anger, disbelief and grief into having the greatest…
Disney announces new Lion King prequel film about bug who gets eaten by Timon
Serengeti, Disney – After many successful sequels and prequels, Disney has announced plans to finally make a film explaining the origin of the bug shown on screen for 2 seconds before Timon eats it.
“We know fans have been demanding answers…
Trudeau quietly sends “U up” DMs to rest of world’s economies
OTTAWA – Following a weekend where US President Donald Trump suddenly backed down from a threat to impose 25% tariffs on Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has been observed sliding into the DMs of numerous world economies.
“Hey…
Next season on Bluey – Bluey’s mom makes a mistake
Brisbane, Australia – The creators of Bluey have unveiled a massive spoiler for the next season: Bluey’s mum Chili will make a mistake for the first time in the show’s history.
The number one most-watched show in North America features a…
Furious Poilievre criticizes Trump tariffs for uniting Canadians
OTTAWA – Following a tumultuous weekend in which Donald Trump threatened Canada with steep tariffs on all goods, only to back down, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre angrily criticized the US president for bringing Canadians together…
Single Canadian guy actually smuggling fentanyl to US really flattered by task force
WINDSOR, ON – Derryl Virkin, the sole Canadian who has been smuggling negligible amounts of fentanyl across the US border, has reported feeling “really flattered and kinda giddy but also kinda weird, eh?” in the wake of Trudeau’s recent…
Editorial: Trump underestimates how proud, united and, most importantly, petty Canadians are
By: Chris Standin
President Trump has gone ahead with his long rumoured plans to put a 25% tariff on all Canadian goods sold in the United States (other than energy, which got 10%). He believes he can use brute economic force to make us…
5 ways to eroticise Groundhog Day because you’re busy on Valentine’s
The most romantic day of the year is almost here, but what if you’re busy this Valentine’s Day? Don’t start preparing for divorce court just yet; with a little planning and the right attitude, Groundhog Day can be every bit as sensual.…
Woman who agrees with Doug Ford halting US liquor also needs that liquor to deal with fact she…
HAMILTON, ON — With Premier Doug Ford ordering Ontario LCBOs to stop selling US alcohol due to President Trump’s tariffs, accountant Marianne Thompson has expressed frustration that she won’t be able to use that alcohol to drown her sorrows…
Americans choose most expensive way possible to discover what goods made in Canada
WASHINGTON, D.C. – With US President Donald Trump declaring 25% tariffs on most Canadian goods, American citizens have officially chosen the most circuitous and economically painful method possible to investigate what everyday goods…
Play Hard. Get Dirty. Use Good Saop.