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New Brunswick notifies Blaine Higgs’ parents that his name changing to “ex-premier Blaine Higgs”
FREDERICTON – Today officials with the New Brunswick Government notified the parents of Blaine Higgs, which they are required to do according to Policy 713, to inform them that Higgs name is being officially changed to “ex-premier Blaine…
Lame-ass ghost turns out to be metaphor for grief instead of a cool chain-rattling guy
OTTAWA – Allison Carver, who has recently experienced a series of paranormal events in her home, has told reporters that she was disappointed to discover she’s undergoing a boring, metaphorical haunting rather than the blood-curdling,…
Canadian takes full five seconds to translate “doughnut hole” to “Timbit”
ANN ARBOR, MI ― Kitchener native Tobias Sanders took a solid five seconds today to work out the meaning of his American friend Cory Easton’s invitation to “grab some doughnut holes” at a local shop while visiting him in Michigan.
The…
BC Conservative leader clarifies that every batshit thing he’s ever said was a misunderstanding…
VICTORIA – As the provincial election draws to a close, Conservative Party of B.C. leader John Rustad is making a last push to appeal to voters by denying everything he’s ever said that they think is crazy while affirming everything he’s…
5 funniest options for which Conservative MP engaged in foreign interference
Yesterday Justin Trudeau stated that Conservative “Parliamentarians” are engaged in foreign interference in Canadian elections. And many observers pointed out that it was a bit odd for our Head Of Government to drop a bomb like that and…
Trudeau invites Canadians to play a new game called ‘Guess That Traitor!’
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau unveiled a new game for Canadians to play during his testimony before the committee on foreign interference in Canada’s elections, in which people wildly guess which Conservative MP or MPs are traitors…
“Get well soon!” says woman who doesn’t understand how chronic illness works
KITCHENER, ON – A local office worker who completely misunderstands how chronic illness works has reportedly told her chronically ill coworker to “get well soon!”
Linda Campbell, 53, sent the message to her colleague Kayla in an email…
Fans not falling for Oilers ‘maybe we suck’ bullshit this year
EDMONTON – NHL fans have made it clear that the Oilers starting the season by looking like one of the worst teams in the league will not fool them like it did last year.
“I don’t know why the Oilers players seem to get off on playing like a…
Rogers ends free Wifi on the TTC after learning it betters life for Canadians
TORONTO – Telecom giant Rogers announced that it would be ending the free Wifi available at Toronto Transit Commission stations at the end of the year after finding it had too many unintentional benefits to Canadians.
“After a couple of…
Most popular Thanksgiving Sides in every Province
Thanksgiving is here. A time for families to come together, make lasting memories and try to remember what this Holiday is technically supposed to be honouring. But mostly we eat. Usually Turkey is the centerpiece of the meal, but across…
Play Hard. Get Dirty. Use Good Saop.