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Trudeau announces counter tariffs on any Trump businesses that haven’t already gone bankrupt
OTTAWA – Following America’s unprecedented levying of 25% tariffs on all Canadian products, Prime Minister Trudeau announced that Canada will apply retaliatory tariffs to specific US goods, including any Trump family businesses that haven’t…
Alberta proves private healthcare is more efficient at generating scandals
EDMONTON – Alberta’s experiment with private healthcare delivery is already paying off, as the system is generating scandals at a rate unheard of by the province’s public-facing healthcare system.
“Scandals are very important to the…
Putin emails Trump “tell me 5 things you did for me last week”
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following a contentious meeting where US President Donald Trump failed to convince Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to sign a deal giving America access to Ukraine minerals, Trump received an from Russian President…
Zelensky pretty sure disgraceful meeting could have been disgraceful email
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following an explosive White House meeting that saw President Trump berate the visiting Ukrainian president and push Russian talking points, Zelenskyy opined that the entire dishonourable spectacle could easily have been…
Ontario voters excited to learn definition of insanity
TORONTO – In a province desperate for improvement on vital issues from housing to healthcare, voters who just made the logical choice to re-elect the same Premier they’ve had for the last 7 years say they are excited to learn exactly what…
Ontario Election: Plurality of a Minority gives Ford a Majority
QUEEN’S PARK – Premier Doug Ford won a commanding majority government this week when his Progressive Conservative party got almost half of the votes cast by the almost half of the electorate who even bothered.
“Folks, this is a monumental…
Doug Ford celebrates majority win by demolishing closest hospital
ETOBICOKE, ON — After his Conservative party was officially re-elected with a majority vote this evening, Doug Ford celebrated his win by immediately hopping in his car, tearing down University Avenue, and obliterating SickKids hospital.…
Ontarians weigh difficult decision between voting and anything else
ONTARIO – With polls open today in Doug Ford’s snap provincial election, voters across the province are weighing a difficult choice between going out to vote, and not doing that whatsoever.
With advance polls indicating Ford headed for an…
Thoughtful gift thwarted by Dollarama price tag
OAKVILLE – Kevin Walker’ seemingly thoughtful gesture for his girlfriend’s birthday on Sunday was obliterated when she noticed her gift was purchased from the discount chain, Dollarama.
The gift in question – a bath bomb set called…
The Devil went down to Georgia, was deported by ICE
Atlanta, GA – Reports first made on social media have corroborated that the devil went down to Georgia looking for some souls to steal late Friday night where he was quickly taken into custody by ICE officials. Several eyewitnesses stated…
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