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Beaverton
Baby smells weird again
CALGARY — According to local sources, the Weaver family baby is smelling suspicious again after a brief period of olfactory normality.
“Well, it’s not the diaper,” said Michael Weaver, after taking a big whiff of his six-month-old…
Basketball Insider: Get me out, I’m stuck inside a basketball!
Scotiabank Arena, Toronto – It’s that exciting time of year when the NBA season really starts to heat up, but personally, I wish it wouldn’t, because I’m stuck inside one of the basketballs. Help!
Ow. Ow. Ow. Please stop dribbling!
In case…
Netflix prepares to release prisoners taken during the streaming wars
LOS GATOS, CA – Last week, Netflix posted on their website the release dates of all the prisoners of war they’ve taken throughout the multi-year conflict known as the streaming wars.
“With the unofficial ceasefire taking place over the…
Candling session loosens man’s ear wax and extracts three-masted model ship
SAULT STE MARIE — Local high school teacher Matt Giordano received quite the surprise on Tuesday when an ear candling session not only removed a quantity of built-up wax from his ear canal, but extracted a model three-masted ship.
“I have…
“Outrageously fluffy” pancake recipe really only preposterously fluffy
See More: Dumb Week, false advertisting, news in photos, pancakes, recipe Beaverton
New Movie: Alexander Skarsgard, Peter Sarsgaard guard stars in Star Guards
HOLLYWOOD – Gossip is buzzing this week about a new tentpole film release set for next year: Star Guards, starring Skarsgard and Sarsgaard.
A synopsis of the film, which dropped Tuesday on the producer’s website, sets out the sci-fi epic’s…
DUMB WEEK: ABBA reunion delayed due to highly infectious Mamma Mia! variant
SWEDEN – The long-awaited reunion of Swedish supergroup ABBA has been delayed due to the latest iteration of the novel coronavirus, the highly infectious Mamma Mia! variant.
ABBA reunited in 2022 for a virtual concert residency in London,…
Report: Preparing Christmas turkey closest thing dad has had to sex in years
ST. JOHNS, NF- Local father of 3 Jake O’Leary confirmed speculation that getting the turkey ready for Christmas dinner is by far the most arousing activity he has done in roughly seven years.
“It’s not something I’d like to admit, but I…
Report: grandchildren can’t wait to greet grandma by accidentally kissing her on the lips
OTTAWA – A national report was released stating that Canadian grandchildren are ecstatic at the possibility of greeting grandma this holiday season, by accidentally kissing her on the lips.
“Like, it’s the best part of the holidays!,”…
BREAKING: Home invader plans to kiss your wife
News in Photos
See More: Christmas, kissing, Santa Beaverton
Play Hard. Get Dirty. Use Good Saop.