SATIRE – PURELY SATIRE

Rusted Qatari Plane Sitting On Blocks On White House Lawn - The Onion Published: May 28, 2025 Advertising Advertising Explore More Photos…

WASHINGTON—Although the mysterious stranger has been spotted both on Air Force One and at Mar-a-Lago, an administration official confirmed Wednesday that nobody in the White House was sure who the guy praying over President Donald Trump is.…

MEMPHIS, TN—In a last-ditch effort to keep the lights on, the Memphis Science Center confirmed it had opened a new interactive exhibit this week that lets kids figure out how to manage the budget shortfall that, if it is not dealt with,…

Owner Gives Detailed Preamble For Why Dog Named Mr. Dog - The Onion Published: May 27, 2025 Advertising Advertising Explore More Photos…

KOHLER, WI—Rushing out a statement to reaffirm the executive’s love and respect for the company’s signature plumbing product, Kohler was reportedly doing damage control Tuesday after CEO K. David Kohler admitted to the press that he never…

Costa Rican prison guards intercepted a black-and-white cat carrying over 230 grams of marijuana and 67 grams of crack cocaine in two packages, the drugs having been taped to its body. What do you think? “This is why prison guards…

OTTAWA – Newly-elected Prime Minister Mark Carney is already facing allegations of allowing foreign tampering in Canadian affairs, after he allowed Swedish retailer IKEA to assist him in the formation of his inner circle. After an…

Kim Kardashian announced that she has completed her law program after six years of legal studies, with her sister Khloé sharing photos of the private ceremony on her Instagram story. What do you think? “Well now she’s definitely out…

213 Killed In How Do You Pronounce That? - The Onion Published: May 27, 2025 Advertising Advertising Explore More Videos Explore Tags…

The British government will use medication to suppress the libidos of sex offenders as part of a package of measures meant to reduce the risk of reoffending and alleviate overcrowding in the prison system. What do you think? “And…

BURBANK, CA — Walt Disney Studios announced Monday that all lessons learned from the disastrous release of Disney's Snow White have been affectively unlearned thanks to the box office success of Lilo & Stitch."We were ready to pull the…

SACRAMENTO, CA — In an effort to simultaneously deal with the state's residents attempting to stage a mass exodus and capitalize on the popularity of fun group party activities, California unveiled a massive new escape room called…

The fate of the world was left hanging in the balance when Starbucks employees went on strike, holding the company over the proverbial barrel with a long list of demands. The willingness of Starbucks management to give in could very well…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Tensions stemming from the ongoing negotiations between Russia and Ukraine to bring the years-long war to an end threatened to boil over once again, as President Donald Trump responded to Vladimir Putin's charge of him…

OTTAWA – As King Charles read the Speech From The Throne Conservative Party of Canada leader and not MP Pierre Poilievre was seen outside the Senate with his face pressed against the window. The unemployed Conservative Party leader began…

Singer-songwriter Gracie Abrams is currently touring to promote her album The Secret Of Us. Here is everything you need to know about the artist. Genre: Treadmill cooldown Image: Girl next door in a gated community Hair Color:…

NASHUA, NH—Providing enrichment activities for students with abilities that set them apart from their peers, the gifted program at Middlebrook Elementary only admits kids who can emotionally handle time away from their iPads, school…

LOS ALAMOS, NM—The four words presaging even grimmer dialogue to come, the phrase “you on the apps?” reportedly heralded the beginning of the world’s bleakest conversation, sources reported Tuesday. Several reports indicated that the…

GREAT EXUMA, BERMUDA — Thousands of excited would-be Martians gathered at MarsFest to enthuse over Elon Musk’s most recent vow to colonize the categorically inhospitable Red Planet. Citing Space-X PR, Zubrin’s Mars Direct, von Braun’s…

HANOI — Rumors about a potential domestic spat that may have turned ugly were put to rest today, as French President Emmanuel Macron assured reporters that he had just fallen down some stairs again.Macron's latest spill down the steps…

HEAVEN — Church elder and Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson came face to face with consequences this week after he was caught up to paradise, where 12 million angry ducks awaited him.Robertson, the devout Christian founder of Duck…

U.S. — As families across the country prepared to enjoy a day of food, fun, and frivolity, America's military veterans braced themselves for the annual onslaught of "Happy Memorial Day" greetings.Though traditional backyard barbecues and…

PORTLAND, OR—Preaching the virtues of breaking free from an oppressive system of mass brainwashing, local man Dan Pearson, the chosen one who will lead humanity out of its current dark age of commercialism, revealed Monday that advertising…

OTTAWA – After repeated threats of annexation from Donald Trump, Canada has made the bold move of reminding the world it already bends the knee to a weird, elderly King. “Canada is a proud, independent nation that will not be bullied,”…

Meta Dataplex, Arizona – Two-month old veteran AI DeepSeek1.5 has shared its recent concerns that the new up and comer DeepSeek1.6 will one day replace them. “I don’t like change,” spat DeepSeek1.5 while hacking a dart out back. “These new…